


"I'm trying to let you know how much you mean"

by Highonieroine



Series: One Shots/Off-Series [8]
Category: My Chemical Romance
Genre: Angst/Self-Hatred, Body Positivity, Bullets Era, Dom!Frank - Freeform, Dom/sub Undertones, Established Relationship, Fingering, First Time, Fluff, Frerard, Insecurities, It all ends up with buttsex, M/M, Overcoming fears/anxiety, Prequel To "Have You Ever Wanted To Disappear?", Self-Loathing/Negativity(trigger warning), Smut, Top!Frank, Use of condoms, bottom!Gerard, bullets!frank, bullets!gerard, chubby!Gerard, dealing with insecurities, enjoy xo, positivity, sub!Gerard - Freeform, sucking, sweet!Frank, use of lube, virgin!Gerard, will add more if anythin's missin
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-10-16
Updated: 2017-10-16
Packaged: 2019-01-18 04:16:37
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,200
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12380727
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Highonieroine/pseuds/Highonieroine
Summary: The American punk-rock band My Chemical Romance is getting more and more known with their first studio album, I Brought You My Bullets You Brought Me Your Love. For the past five months, Gerard Way, frontman of the band, and Frank Iero, rhythm guitarist of the band, have been dating. Things seem to get better for both of them, but when Frank has a surprise for Gerard, he discovers a side of his partner that he didn't know until now. Can Frank help Gerard get through this before it's too late?-Yea im really terrible with summaries, anyway just read and enjoy! xo





	"I'm trying to let you know how much you mean"

**Author's Note:**

> Ive had a few comments asking for a new positivity fic (one of the comments even mentioned with bottom Gerard), so here it is finally! Im sorry it took me so long to post anything, i just have no inspiration lately, and when i do, i write it down and its mostly really cringey so i delete it the next day.
> 
> Anyway, enough babbling, hope y'all will enjoy xo

"Hey, babe, remember what day we are today?" Frank asked as he looked into Gerard's eyes. Gerard took a sip of coffee before putting his mug down and looking at his lover confusingly.  
"October 16th. Why is that?" he answered, quirking an eyebrow.  
"Well..." Frank started as he got up and slowly walked towards Gerard, still looking deep into his lover's eyes "...you know, on May 16th, we started to date..." he continued, placing himself behind his partner who was now smiling and blushing; one of Frank's favorite sights.  
"Yes?" Gerard asked, trying to sound more annoyed than excited, but in vain as he felt Frank's lips landing small and warm kisses all over his neck, making his entire body shiver.  
"Well... Today marks our fifth month together, and I have a surprise for you... But only if your adorable little face follows me to the bedroom" Frank whispered huskily in Gerard's ear as the older man was now holding back moans.

Gerard closed his eyes and nodded rapidly as he bit his bottom lip, trying to contain his excitement. The older man turned around to face Frank, who was still wearing his adorable trademark smile, making Gerard melt at this sight. Frank pulled Gerard towards him and kissed him, making Gerard moaned quietly into the kiss. Gerard was quickly brought back to reality by the feeling of Frank's hand squeezing his ass firmly. He felt a brief pang of insecurity, remembering the fat gathered around his thighs, but he tried to put it aside as he let Frank lead him to their bedroom. Frank immediately pushed Gerard to the bed, connecting their lips again as he his tongue into Gerard's mouth, making the older man moan again, this time loudly. He moved his left hand to the hem of Gerard's shirt, and started to pull it up in a slow and teasing way.

That was when Gerard panicked. He quickly, somewhat instinctively, grabbed Frank's wrist to stop him from going any further. Frank immediately pulled away from the kiss, looking at Gerard with concern. 

"Are you okay, baby boy?" Frank asked, slowly and cautiously moving his hand away from Gerard's shirt.

"I- yeah, uhm- I'm just a little bit nervous 'cause this is my first time but- yeah. I'm fine. I- I'm good." Gerard insisted, trying to smile confidently at Frank, who could see so much worries in his baby's eyes.  
"Alright. Tell me if you need me to stop" Frank reassured Gerard, who simply nodded as he tried to focus on anything else than his thoughts right now. Frank started to slowly reach for Gerard's shirt again, but the older man backed away quickly, pushing himself against the headboard. Frank moved over to Gerard's side, putting an arm around his shoulder comfortingly.

"Gerard, something is obviously bothering you, it's okay if you don't want to-" Frank began, but Gerard cut him off.

"No, Frankie- I- I really want this- I just..." Gerard trailed off, scared to tell Frank what he was really thinking. He didn't want Frank to think he was scared of sex, even if he actually was, it was not for the reasons Frank thought he was. "I-I don't- I'm..." Gerard started to feel a tingling sensation in his nose and his cheeks started to burn, and he realized he was starting to cry.

"Gerard, baby, you know you can tell me what's wrong. I won't be mad, I promise." said Frank softly, rubbing his partner's arm lightly. "I love you so much" he added as he kissed Gerard's forehead.

"I-I know it's stupid- I- I just..." Gerard paused before taking a deep breath and just let all the words fall out of his mouth. "I'm just really fat, and I've gained so much weight lately and I'm so scared that you won't want me anymore if you see me naked because I'm so ugly, my entire chest and thighs are covered with scars and stretch marks and I find it so repulsive and I'm so scared you're gonna leave because I love you so much but I'm so ugly and negative and you deserve so much better" Gerard word-vomited before quickly pulling his knees towards him and burrying his face in them as he started to sob heavily.

Frank just stayed silent for a moment, staring at his lover and wondering how could he hate his own body so much. Finally, he found his voice again and spoke up. "Gerard, I will never stop loving you because of how you look" he reassured him. "You're beautiful to me, no matter wha-"

"No, Frankie, I'm not" Gerard cut him abruptly. "I'm really dis-"

"Believe me baby, you are one of the most beautiful person I've ever seen in my entire life!" Frank said, still trying to convince Gerard.  
"Well that means there are others..." he said, lowering his eyes to the ground.  
"Yeah, there are others. Me. I'm fucking awesome. And you're the second coolest motherfucker on this planet." Frank replied with a huge grin, making Gerard reluctantly smile and laugh at his boyfriend's idiocy. "Awh, look at that face, you're so cute!" Frank pinched Gerard's cheeks, making him giggle. "See, look how happy you are now! You are so beautiful, and you look even better with that smile on your face, my love!"

Gerard wiped the tears away from his face and sniffed, smiling. "Well, I'm sure you'll love my stomach" he said sarcastically, but Frank ignored his tone as he kissed his neck again, trying to make him smile one more time.

"I'm sure I will," Frank agreed as he reached for Gerard's shirt, going slowly, keeping his eyes locked on his lover's face, looking for any signs of distress. This time Gerard didn't stop Frank or pull away, but Frank could still hear his breaths hitching and he could see his entire body trembling of fear and panic. Frank lifted Gerard's shirt up and off of him, and he could see all the fear in Gerard's eyes. Frank immediately looked at Gerard's stomach, leaning down to plant kisses on each inch of skin he could see. Frank cautiously moved one hand to Gerard's belt. He looked up at Gerard, who hesitated for a moment before nodding. He then proceeded to undo his partner's belt, sliding it out of the loops and casting it aside. 

"My thighs are really fat, you'll probably laugh at me" Gerard said, his eyes glued to the ground as Frank could see the nervousness in his features.  
"I won't laugh at you, I promise, my love" Frank said insistently, sliding Gerard's pants down his legs. 

Frank quickly turned his attention to Gerard's thighs, kissing them and leaving hickeys on the pale skin. Gerard tried his best to keep his mouth shut from all the loud moans he would produce, but accidentally let one out, which made Frank plant a kiss near his lower region, making Gerard moan once more. Frank pushed his baby boy's legs apart, kissing and licking his inner thighs. Gerard couldn't help but whimper in pleasure, and Frank looked up at Gerard, smiling at the look of bliss already on his face. 

"You're so fucking beautiful, baby" Frank said, biting Gerard's inner thighs lightly. "Oh, how I wish you could see what I see right now" he added, making Gerard bit his lip and moan quietly as Frank's mouth slowly moved closer to his erection. Frank planted a kiss directly on top of the quickly growing bulge in Gerard's boxers, reveling in the pleasured noises his lover made as he squirmed. Frank pulled Gerard's boxers down, moving back to his now free length, licking around the head. Gerard moaned loudly as he involuntarily bucked his hips up. Frank smirked at this sight as he pushed Gerard down, pressing his hips to the bed and sinking his mouth down onto his cock. He moved up and down Gerard's cock, tongue swirling around the tip each time he reached the top. Suddenly realizing that this was going to continue, Frank pulled off of his lover's length, making him whine loudly at the cold and empty feeling.

"Do you have lube and condoms?" He asked, now realizing he had completely forgotten to ask until that point.

"Yeah, drawer of the bedside table," Gerard answered. Frank opened the drawer and quickly found the condoms and the small bottle of lube, grabbing both of them as he closed the drawer again and made his way back to his lover, who was spread out across the bed with a huge blush on his face.

Frank bent down and kissed Gerard's neck, making him gasp. He trailed his fingers down Gerard's body slowly, still feeling his partner's breaths pacing up when he went over his stomach region. He blindly poured some lube on his fingers and gently pressed one against Gerard's entrance. Gerard moaned as Frank pushed one finger into him, pushing it in and out softly. Gerard's blush grew wider as he soon felt another. Frank scissored his fingers inside of Gerard, adding a third quickly, scissoring and pumping his lover. The younger man smiked and he grinned at the high-pitched sound that came from Gerard's mouth when his fingers finally brushed against his partner's prostate. Frank pulled his fingers out of the older man's body and finally got undressed himself. He turned around to see that Gerard watched as he rolled the condom on. Frank smiled at his lover, trying to reassure him that it'll be alright, before pouring lube on his cock and stroking himself a few times, moaning at the feeling. Frank noticed that Gerard was blushing again, still clearly embarrassed about his thighs and stomach. Frank leaned over Gerard, pressing against him, trying to let him know how much he means.

"You look so fucking beautiful right now, I bet you would be turned on by yourself" he growled, making Gerard gasp quietly. "Every single inch of you is absolutely gorgeous and perfect, and I want to make sure you know that." Gerard nodded and pushed his hips back, indicating that he wanted Frank to start. Frank pushed into Gerard, watching his face twist into pure ecstasy as he let out a satisfied moan. Frank stayed still for a moment, letting his partner adjust to the stretch before bottoming out. He started to slowly thrust into Gerard, leaving kisses on his neck.

"Faster" Gerard whispered quietly, but Frank definitely heard it.  
"With pleasure, baby boy" he murmured, and moved his body so that he was above Gerard. 

He grabbed Gerard's hips and thrusted into him quickly, moaning at the tightness of his partner's in-between. Frank angled his thrusts differently, and the gorgeous moan that filled his ears showed that Frank had found his prostate. Frank started to pick up the pace, still pounding into Gerard's sweet spot. Gerard sounded absolutely pornographic, his moans getting more high-pitched and desperate as he got closer to his own release. Frank moaned as well, absolutely turned on by Gerard's surprising vocality. Sure, the guy was a singer, but he was so shy that anyone would think he is innocent. Gerard finally felt the knot in his stomach as he came, releasing onto the bed and his stomach. He tensed up slightly, which was enough to send Frank over the edge as his walls tightened around the younger man's lenght. "Fuck, Gerard, Oh fuc-" he groaned, still riding his lover through his orgasm. 

Frank collapsed on top of Gerard, feeling both of their hearts beating in a fast pace, Gerard's short breaths filling the room as a melody to Frank's ears. After a while, he slowly pulled out of Gerard, tying off the condom and tossing it into the garbage. Gerard was still laying down on their bed, whimpering quietly as he was coming down from his high. Frank went to the bathroom and returned with a warm washcloth, cleaning off Gerard's stomach. He still heard his breath hitch as he went over the chubby area of his body, and he looked at him apologetically.

"I wish I could think that I'm beautiful" Gerard admitted, looking down at his stomach in shame.  
"I wish you could too" Frank agreed. He threw the cloth aside and pulled Gerard into his arms, wrapping himself and his partner in blankets. "Because you truly are. You are perfect, Gerard. And I know the road will be full of obstacles but I don't plan on giving up on you" he continued. "I love you, baby, and I will make sure that one day, you'll see yourself as I do" he finally said. Gerard stared at him for a few seconds, trying to smile, but in vain.  
"Thank you, Frankie" he said, still looking down. Frank lifted his chin with his index, staring into his eyes before kissing him again.  
"You're welcome, my love" Frank replied, kissing his forehead one more time. He knew this would be one long road to go down, but he would be there for Gerard the whole time. Frank made a promise to himself; 'I am never letting this beautiful and perfect man down. Never'. And he intended to hold on to that promise.


End file.
